Anticapitalathon Games 2010

Submitted by Jon B on Mon, 04/19/2010 - 12:09pm
in
Date: 
Friday, April 23, 2010 - 1:00pm - Sunday, April 25, 2010 - 2:00pm
Location : 
DC

From April 23rd through 25th, the International Monetary Fund (IMF) and the World Bank (WB) will hold their annual spring meetings in Washington, DC. The IMF/WB are responsible for saddling struggling economies with unmanageable debt, driving billions into deeper poverty through the imposition of (badly misnamed) "poverty reduction" programs, and threatening countries who refuse to follow their austerity programs with economic blacklisting and isolation.

Fortunately, none of that matters to us any more. The Self Described Anarchist Collective (SDAC) has decided to abandon tiresome activism, and instead become filthy rich through the creation of the Anticapitalathon (TM) Games. The Anticapitalathon (TM) Games are not meant to protest the worldwide destruction wrought by global capital, and we certainly have no intention of showing solidarity with those affected by IMF policies.

The Anticapitalathon (TM) Games are being held at the same time and place as the spring WB/IMF meetings– not to highlight the connection between neoliberalism and economic misery, but to scam free publicity for our budding sports empire.

In that spirit, we make the following suggestions concerning athletic equipment: there will be no need for gas masks or goggles, and helmets and reinforced banners will only slow you down. Don't bother with masks; after all, you can't become a famous extreme athlete if nobody knows who you are, right? Our friends at the DC Metropolitan Police Department, sports fans all, will surely be too enthralled by our acrobatic grace and athletic prowess to do anything so antisocial as actually arrest anyone. However, if your paranoia overcomes your competitive instincts, wear as much armor as you like, we won't stop you.

The Anticapitalathon (TM) will be a dramatic weekend of games, scavenger hunts and walking tours of the opulent downtown neighborhoods of the empire's capital.

So bring a team or come as a solo competitor to DC in April. Homemade prizes, delicious food and radical levels of fun are sure to follow!

Interested in Getting Involved in the organizing, training or strategizing for the Anticapitalathon games, click here.